Picture Monday: Where ya been?

Oh, you know, here and there. Gondor mainly.

I'll spare you the "I'm returning to blogging" post and say it's been a real interesting month or two. There was the Alaskan trip, icebergs and all, that was flat out legendary. It was hard not to hum the LOTR theme while sailing around mountains like this, for some reason.

There's more keeping me busy these days, but the less I write the more I dread completely sucking at it. And, there's a lot going on, so expect more pretty pretty pictures on Monday.

Bad Horse...sort of

I thought it was cute beyond all rationality.

Voyerism at its Best

I'm not one to pass along sites a la Buzzfeed (hey, go to Buzzfeed.com!) but on that site I came across this little gem: http://hntgl.com/

The premise of the site, which is an acronym "How Not to Get Laid" is to serve as a message board for stories of sexual humiliation and botched courtship. It's an easy thing to click on but once you get into the guts of the thing, I found some of the stories both sad and sort of brilliant. It's also, once you get into it, a dark subject presented in a light way.

Anyways, I thought I'd pass it along.

Why I Haven't Been Posting A Lot

I'm currently teaching two college classes, which is beyond bizarre given the fact I don't have much of a mind on me. I'm working on it, but I was always the guy who knew a little about a lot instead of a lot about a little, which is sort of what they look for in academia. I'm teaching a journalism class and an intro to film studies class at two different local colleges in this area.

It takes some time, so blogging suffers. At the same time, I think teaching an adult set is something I'm really kind of falling for. Why you ask?

1. It's an ego trip to be the guy who knows the most about a particular subject in the room.
2. It's an environment ripe for experimentation. I consider it a challenge and a mission to keep students from nodding off. So far, so good thanks to a mix of media, movie clips, the occasional curse word, personal stories and an animated teaching presence.
3. The pay and the hours spent make this a pretty kick-ass part time job.
4. Teaching is, in some respect, is the act of transferring enthusiasm and knowledge. In my short time I find the two to be different but equally important.

It's also cool to tell people you're a professor. There's something to that.

An Appeal To Stewart Shepherd

To: Mr. Stewart Shepherd
Focus on the Family

From: Norman 5875
Lapsed and Failing Christian

Mr. Stewart,

A few weeks ago I happened to catch your video, via the "mainstream media," where you asked your viewers, in a playful way, to pray for rain over Denver the night Barack Obama accepts the Democratic nomination for President. I understand, though do not respect, the idea that you intended this as a joke. Needless to say, I didn't find it funny.

But, in doing research for this blog I found your rebuttal video to the "mainstream media," where you read from the "knee-jerk Liberal dictionary" or some such, quoted Sean Hannity about Keith Olbermann's ratings (what's his obsession with that? It's not healthy) and basically made a tongue-in-cheek apology for making a joke that wasn't very funny. Or, as I detected, further made fun of those who don't think like you by implying they're too full of hatred, blinded by ideology or stupid to understand your extremely well put together and funny joke.

I'm pretty sure I hate you.

Let's back up, since that was a little strong and you are a man of God, which probably entitles you to a bit of leeway. See, I was shaped and molded by many "Men of God," and found a large majority of them to be true followers of Jesus Christ - forthright, honest, fair and compassionate. Very few of them were snarky, even fewer of them out and out hated and if they did so, they did it on the inside where it was dealt with spiritually. I presume you've undergone most of the same training, read some of the same books and studied the Bible in the same ways as most of these men and I wonder where the disconnect comes in. You see, the men who shaped me were influential and caring and drove me closer to God, or so I felt. When I watch you and your sarcastic, partisan, self-centered comments, it makes me want to burn down a church.

I don't think you realize you have that effect. I truly believe you have good intentions, or did at one point. I'm sure you talk big about love (truthfully, I don't know that much about you). But here's what I do know - love is always about sacrifice, and Christianity has the biggest, most gaudy example of this in the known universe in the form of Jesus Christ. When you love, you often overlook, care, reach out, embrace and sometimes hold your nose or tongue to make love possible. What you're doing, Mr. Shepherd, is calling me an asshole.

See, I'm voting for Barack Obama because I believe he's the better man for the job. I believe he's smarter, more capable of mobilizing the public and genuinely believes in people. He served in lower class communities for years - there's that pesky sacrifice thing coming up again. I like the guy, even though I've never met him. And you made a joke about God pouring "Old Testament" rain on the guy. Let's say you were really not joking and wanted this prayer chain to form and for God to hear and disrupt Obama's speech. That's pretty terrible in my book because you're using God, overtly and without wiggle room, to advance a political agenda and that makes me want to cry for the state of the faith in which I was raised. But, let's say you were joking and just have no ear for comedy. The implication then is you'd joke about God's overt action into politics. Joking about God usually isn't smiled upon too much by you folk. Ask Kevin Smith. That makes you a hypocrite, pretty much.

But then, the coup de grace - your response video where you overtly mock anyone who called you on your shit for either a) being a partisan right down to the cross around your neck or b) not being funny while making fun of God. By pulling out that "funny" Liberal handbook or through any of the other ham handed jokes you attempted, you called me an asshole. And I don't like to be called an asshole. In fact, if I were called an asshole in church, I would leave that church, which is sort of what's happening.

See, when you people at Focus on the Family mix your politics and your religion love is never a bi-product. Hate comes out, intolerance comes out, stubbornness (which, our Bible tells us is not a sign of love) comes out, but not love or compassion or caring or anything like it, and it makes me want to go away from you. And while I find myself running away from you and what you stand for, I also find myself running away from everything you and your ilk are connected to, right down to the wafer placed on my tongue Sunday mornings. You and your people are not the only reason but you are part of the reason I feel myself losing my grip on what I thought God was and who he was to me. By calling me an asshole for voting for Obama, and implying that I will get wet while you are dry makes me so angry it breaks bonds that true Men of God spent decades creating. And I feel it happening and it makes me want to cry.

Even if you were funny, I'd find you sad. As it stands, you're not only a bad evangelist and bad Christian in terms of outreach (again, I don't know your soul) but you're a lousy fucking comedian and a political hack piece of shit in my opinion. And I'm not going to waste one prayer, however many I have left, on someone like you.

Blessings, douchbag.

Norman

Two Quick Videos

This first one is brilliant. That's the only real word for it.



This second one has many more words such as "ooooh," "ouch," "oh my gawd," "yowza" "that is so mean," "holy god" and "what the hell is wrong with you for promoting this sort of video."

Here ya go.

Maximus The Goat Boy

At this point in my life I feel like Bill Hicks and his comedy was one of the low level building blocks responsible for the man I've become. Every time I get really pissed off because others are being hurt, every time I tear something apart and go two or three steps too far, (mostly in my mind, never outside of it unfortunately), any time I'm really really drunk or overindulgent for the sake of the soul - that's Bill Hicks.

So to hear Russell Crowe is considering taking on the lead role in a Bill Hicks bio pic...I'm kind of sad and nervous. And curious.

Hick's story is amazing and if you don't know it, pick up "American Scream" by Cynthia True or the superb DVD simply called "Bill Hicks" put out a couple years back. The dude was unique and powerful but his story of comedy from an early age, rage from an early career, excess upon excess, spirituality upon spirituality, cancer upon pancreas and a departure well before the aliens came to pick us up is rife for adaptation, actually. I'm just firmly of the mindset that I don't want to fucking see it.

Would Crowe be good? Probably. I don't care. I've honestly never thought about a bio pic, never cast it in my head, never considered plunking down $8 to see the movie. And I'm not stupid, if they made it I'd see it. But the fact it will get made as Oscar bait makes me sad. Russell Crowe has Oscars and chops but there's not an actor alive I'd consider for the part. It's just never been an option.

Hicks means a lot to me and I would sacrifice body parts to listen to him do a set on the last 8 years. But his life and work was never a movie...never entertainment. That, and he never hit the mainstream because he never sacrificed his pure material. Don't believe me? Spend 7 minutes with the guy below.

I hope this doesn't happen. I won't be outraged or angry, just sad. Very sad.