Too Drunk To Podcast

In case you haven't figured it out already, I have grand plans that usually go unfulfilled.

For example: This weekend I planned to get together with my good buddy 3BeerMan and watch some awful movies, record our reactions to them and edit the material into a podcast. We watched "Fantastic 4: The Rise of the Silver Surfert" (For God's Sake, HIT SOMETHING!), "Wrong Turn 2," (A meat grinder? Really?), the 80s slasher flick "The Burning" (Die Fischer Stevens, DIE!) and a Ginger movie, which is a fine example of 70s T&A Grindhouse cinema.

Where can I find this amazing podcast, you ask? Well, I miscalculated. Big time.

See, we started drinking beer during the first feature and, by my fuzzy calculations, didn't stop until the last movie was over. I won't tell you how much we drank, since that's not befitting of a man in his 30s, but I'm going to call it an "Oh God, did we really drink that much?" type of moment come Sunday morning. In fact, it was an "ow, my head" kind of morning more than anything.

I blame part of the problem on the fact that I make my own beer and when you make your own beer you're not limited by silly FDA regulations like Alcohol Content or Shelf Life. Hey, this beer's 2 years old and 18 percent alcohol? Let's give it a shot!

Still, I left the recorder on to catch our infinitely witty and brilliant comments on my digital recorder. I finally worked up the courage to listen to them tonight. Here's a sample.

Mike: That guy's got a Herry Reems mustache.
3Beer: This was one of Tom Savini's finest movies. He did some really good work here.
Mike: Oooh, watch out Fisher Stevens.
3Beer: This scene is kind of infamous.
Mike: Johnny Five is ALIVE!! Ooh, there go his fingers.
3Beer: That's a pretty good effect.
Mike: He doesn't have a Harry Reems mustache anymore. Are you out?
3Beer: Yeah, I'll have another one.
Mike: Skippidee DOO!

In short, it was nothing anyone, including me, wants to listen to. I'm your stereotypical loud, slurring words drunk and it doesn't suit my high, whiny voice to begin with. So we'll be re-thinking the podcast for the time being when there's more of a format and less German-style ales sitting in my basement, just waiting for someone to love them.

BTW, Wrong Turn 2 was a really fun little slasher movie. Any movie that starts with a woman literally being cut in half and ends with Henry Rollins going Rambo on a gang of inbred mutant hillbilly killers has got a lot going for it. Or so it seemed at the time.