He's a Good Guy. Congratulations.

So my sister Katie is getting married next year.

The news broke last week as I was driving back from Minneapolis where I had been at a conference. I was in the middle of a conversation about the philosophic mission of museums when my dad called and broke the news. To call me "taken aback" doesn't cover it. I was floored.

A little bit of background is necessary, so please indulge me. My sister and I are five years apart and sometimes it feels like a generation. I think she's agree that we're not overly close for a number of reasons - mainly me being a jerk for large parts of my teens. I never really "took her under my wing" so to speak, because I'm just now realizing I didn't have wings back then and am just now grown them. We never really fought, but never really shared, you know? I always got the feeling that if I weren't her brother, she wouldn't have hung out with me.

I'll site one example and move on - in Junior High I got the crap beat out of me a bit (just like a lot of people) and got bitter and hateful toward certain groups at a young age. At one point when I was ranting about something (I forget what) she cut me off with "when did you start hating people." It said "I'm sad for you" and "shut the hell up" all at once and she was exactly right. But that's kind of where we were.

But I think things have changed as we've both gotten out on our own. I think we like each other. I like her. She's beautiful and ambitious and more "adult" than I was at her age. She's got a really tough road going - job and school (and now engagement), but something inside me knows she's going to handle it. Somewhere out there, she found some pretty amazing strength and it doesn't take long to see it. She's no nonsense yet warm and I love her.

Flash forward to her getting married. I don't want to go too much into the topic of the guy she's marrying, other than to say he's a guy with his poop in a group. I like him, though I get the feeling he wouldn't hang out with me if he didn't desire my approval on some level. So it is. But not being the kind of brother who calls all the time, I guess I wasn't aware of how deep their relationship was.

But it's strange the feelings that come rushing over a big brother when his little sister gets engaged. For the first time in a long time I want to be protective. I want to sit her down and say "do you really want this" even though she's even tempered and smart and I'm positive she knows what she's doing. I wish I'd been more up front with her about how I messed up with women so she won't make the same mistakes. I want to tell her how great it is to have someone but how miserable it can be if you play it wrong. I want to tell her this commitment is one where pride swallowing is daily, and sacrifices can be great but the rewards greater.

I suddenly want to be the big brother I never have been for her. Ouch. I read that sentence back and my chest constricted, but it's the truth.

Then, there's happiness. Her wedding is going to be great. She's going to be beautiful. They'll be great together but she won't be one to back away from a challenge or a fight.

I'm so happy for her.