Why I'm Not Jesus

In church today, the focus was on the story in the gospel where Jesus tells his disciples the parable of the wheat and the weeds. Jesus said (and I'm paraphrasing):

"Wheat is growing some place, yeah, and there are weeds growing too. A slave, which isn't cool but a reality at this day and time, tells his master, 'master, look at all these weeds. You wants me to pull them?' And the master says 'no, don't do that because it will hurt the wheat. We'll wait until harvest and then burn the weeds and put the wheat in the barn. Cool?' And the slave said 'whatever you say, my agricultural overlord.'"

Again, I'm paraphrasing. But then the Bible drops this fun little nugget, and this is actual scripture.

"The disciples asked Jesus to explain the parable. And Jesus said to them 'what, are you fucking stupid?'

Ok, that last part was not scripture, but it's what was going through my head in neon letters. The parable is about as clear cut as could possibly be - evil and good will grow together until God's divine judgement. Jesus couldn't have been any more clear unless he had said "evil and good will grow together until God's divine judgement" and then what would he say to the crowd for the next hour?

It's like if I were to tell a story today about a chicken who, after watching a fire destroy the farm's barn, started evesdropping on other chickens to make sure they wouldn't burn down anything else. Then that chicken was hated by about every other animal on the farm and left in disgrace for another ranch in Midland, Texas. What might I be talking about?

I guess we'll never know the context and whether or not the disciples had never been exposed to the idea of a parable or if they were oggling some of the hot women in the audience (or men. If you've got 12 guys following Jesus chances are good one is gay). But either way, it struck me as delightfully thick in a book about illumination.