Nichole Kidman has never really done it for me, but there was this great scene in "Moulin Rouge," where she's discussing with her pimp (in the form of Jim Broadbent, the most amazing pimp eva!), what kind of woman the rich man upstairs is looking for. In Baz Luhrman's frenetic style, she bats her eyes and lifts her cheeks to denote "sunshine and bubbly," and furrows her brow for the "smoldering temptress." The rich man upstairs wanted the temptress. I would have gone for a bit of the bubbly, myself.
But the lust for the bubbly got me into hot water, at least in my own head, a couple days ago.
As a precursor, I'd like to explain that I'm basically a vanilla guy when it comes to sexuality. I'm not terribly shy about discussing it, but I'm not into BDSM, have never DPd and try my best to be GGG. If that's TMI, sorry. I've get predilections like anyone, but I'm not the type of guy who will draw pictures of the girls from Sailor Moon au natural or pressure my wife to wear a gold bikini a la Carrie Fischer. I'm nerdy, but I'm not nerdy.
The reason that needs noting is the movie "Enchanted," which was widely well received by critics and lavished with hundreds of millions of dollars by worldwide audiences. In the flick, princess Gisela (sp?), played by Amy Adams comes from the cartoon world into the real world thanks to some manner of plot device sorcery. The princess arrives in modern day new york with all her charms, fashions and naivete in tact.
There's a fatal flaw in the flick, as far as I'm concerned. When Gisela is a cartoon, she's a finely drawn piece of innocence in the Disney tradition. Once she comes to the real world, she's hot. Really hot. Bubbly hot. Can't take your freaking eyes off her hot.
Don't think for a split second I don't feel like a gigantic cad. But, like I said, I'm not shy about discussing these things, and this is truth that I think a lot of dads are denying. Amy Adams is hotter than the hottest hot thing in hot town. She's hella hot, which is amazing because I cannot stand the word hella, and yet I use it because it's what she is.
With that information in mind, let's move forward through the movie where Gisela starts learning about the world outside of instantaneous, romantic love she dubs "Happily Ever After" and starts asking about kissing and dates and what men and women do and...and suddenly I'm in a frame of mind I don't want to be when watching a kids movie in general, or with my daughter in specific. Call me old fashioned, but I like my live-action Disney heroins in the mold of Angela Landsbury or a prim and proper Julie Andrews (though she was smokin' in her day).
What I came to realize, as the movie went on, is that the Gisel character was the alpha-bubbly, the be all end all of a particular type that I happen to find very attractive. Was this on purpose? I don't want to blame Disney of anything other than wide-eyed innocence themselves, but this is a group that made over $145 million last year off hotel porn in their Disney resorts. I'm just saying they're not above selling sex, even in disguise, if there's a buck in it.
Since I've spent the entire post being a pig, I'd like to atone by suggesting this fantastic piece by Peter Segal of Chicago Public Radio:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=89318829
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